Applied Psychology: Ellis’ Irrational Beliefs
For all of you interested in PMBA coaching, it’s definitely on the agenda moving forward. Look for additional information here on the blog in the coming weeks. I expect to start coaching after the launch of the new PMBA reading list, and will release detailed information about how to sign-up then.
In addition to my work revising the reading list, I’m in the process of educating myself about personal coaching. (After all, if I’m going to ask you to pay me for my perspective, I’m going to do my absolute best to ensure you get your money’s worth.) While reading a book about executive coaching, I came across a set of eleven mental models from the realm of psychotherapy that I thought you’d enjoy.
Albert Ellis’ Irrational Beliefs are eleven indications you’re being completely unreasonable with yourself. By recognizing them, you can save yourself a lot of unnecessary worrying, insecurity, and heartache.
Here they are:
- It is a dire necessity for adult humans to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in their community.
- One absolutely must be competent, adequate and achieving in all important respects or else one is an inadequate, worthless person.
- People absolutely must act considerately and fairly and they are damnable villains if they do not. They are their bad acts.
- It is awful and terrible when things are not the way one would very much like them to be.
- Emotional disturbance is mainly externally caused and people have little or no ability to increase or decrease their dysfunctional feelings and behaviors.
- If something is or may be dangerous or fearsome, then one should be constantly and excessively concerned about it and should keep dwelling on the possibility of it occurring.
- One cannot and must not face life’s responsibilities and difficulties and it is easier to avoid them.
- One must be quite dependent on others and need them and you cannot mainly run one’s own life.
- One’s past history is an all-important determiner of one’s present behavior and because something once strongly affected one’s life, it should indefinitely have a similar effect.
- Other people’s disturbances are horrible and one must feel upset about them.
- There is invariably a right, precise and perfect solution to human problems and it is awful if this perfect solution is not found.
I certainly recognize myself in a few of those beliefs, particularly #2. Where are you being unreasonable with yourself?
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One Comment, Comment or Ping
Deborah Wear-Finkle
Dr. Ellis is one of the originators (along with Aaron Beck, MD) of the group of therapies that fall under the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) umbrella. One learns to change maladaptive feelings and behaviors by replacing self defeating thought patterns with healthier and more realistic ones.
One of the first lessons is to identify our unique thought “habits.” The 11 examples you offer above, provide a sampling of how someone thinks that has NOT learned the tools of cognitive restructuring. And of course, they are at the extreme with a bit of tongue in cheek.
Albert Ellis calls the patterns, “cognitive distortions,” Aaron Beck calls them, “cognitive errors, but I prefer Ellen Langer’s term, “premature cognitive commitments.” Most of us don’t like to be told our thinking is in error, but can accept that at times a mental “cog” may slip into the first opening it finds; even if a better “fit” can be found.
The errors usually fall into one of three “types”: judging (”tyranny of the shoulds,” magnifying faults/minimizing successes, labeling), black/white thinking, or special powers (includes mind reading, fortune telling, etc.). Further explanation can be found at the site:
http://www.mainectc.org/cognitive_distortions.htm
Only those individuals who are very aware of these patterns learned as wee lads/lasses, truly understand how they can get in the way of the professional mission; and know how to mitigate them. In addition to being generally healthier and happier humans, they have a professional edge and significant mental leverage over the majority of people who lack the awareness.
If Albert Ellis heard an executive (who just found they got canned) lament, “I can’t stand it - it’s not fair!” - he surely would remark, “Well, apparently you CAN stand it because you are standing it. Otherwise you would be dead.” Harsh, but true. This is an example of “Awfulizing/Can’t-Stand-It-itis.”
So, eliminate all the “shoulds” from your lexicon and you will be ever so much lighter, less critical, and freed from guilt and resentment. Much easier to be successful in business! And of course, life.
Best,
D
Apr 28th, 2007