I’ve noticed a theme in a non-trivial amount of the feedback I’ve received about a few books on the PMBA reading list. The essence of the comments goes something like this:
“I stopped reading the book because the author’s ego was extremely annoying – what a jerk!”
What do you do when you realize you can’t stand an author’s personality?
Self-Confidence and Egotism
In a sense, comments like these aren’t surprising. It’s absolutely true that many of the authors of PMBA-recommended books clearly have extremely healthy egos.
Self-confidence is a significant asset, since it enables people to accomplish difficult things. Most of the authors of books on the PMBA are quite successful in their line of work, and it’s easy to tell that they have a great deal of confidence in their own skills and abilities. Authors like Tim Ferriss , Dan Kennedy, Chet Holmes, Alan Weiss, and Jay Abraham regard themselves highly, and their self-regard shows through in their writing.
While it’s true that over-expression of ego sometimes detracts from the message of a book, it’s quite foolish to overlook what you can learn from someone simply because they present themselves as being high and mighty.
An Opportunity For Self-Understanding
If you have a strong reaction to someone’s perceived over-confidence or ego, use your annoyance as an opportunity to explore your thoughts, feelings, and assumptions about what it means to be successful. If you find yourself responding in a negative way to your perception of someone else’s self-confidence, it’s a good indication that you’ve found something interesting to explore in your own psyche.
Many people deeply fear that the only way to succeed in business is to treat other people poorly, and thereby associate successful people with being mean. (Think Donald Trump firing people while surrounded by gold and mahogany, or images of “Robber Barons” past and present exploiting others for personal gain.)
This mental association is a prime example of a limiting belief: if becoming a “successful person“ in your mind means becoming an egotistical jerk, you’ll find it very difficult to act in a way that will enable you to define yourself as successful – after all (says your brain), you don’t really want to become one of them, do you?
Your mental mixed signals will sabotage your plans to create a valuable business, which ultimately harms both yourself and the customers who will benefit from your work.
4 Ways to Avoid Authorial Ego
- Use structured reading techniques to find the key ideas without wading through ego. Books like 10 Days to Faster Reading will help you focus on the valuable parts of a text and ignore the less valuable parts.
- Explore why you’re responding so strongly. The practice of asking yourself (and then answering) questions in a journal or talking through your response with another person are extremely powerful practices that will help you understand why you’re unconsciously acting in a particular manner, allowing you to change your behavior consciously.
- Remind yourself that you can choose to be different. You’re reading the book because you believe there’s something the author knows that you can learn – not so you can learn how to become just like them.
- Focus on what the material means to you. What you can do with the ideas presented? What are some things you learned from the book that you’ll be able to use or try? Books are only as good as your ability to put what you read into practice.
Recognize (and make use of) valuable ideas and insights wherever you can find them. Ignore the rest.
(Photo credit: Xurble)
{ 6 comments }
Great post, Josh. I tend to have less trouble with an author’s inflated ego than I do with books full of mindless fluff. I tend to avoid the inspirational market for that reason. I can tolerate an author’s ego as long as he or she writes about useful information. I’ve always tried to live by the motto “eat the meat and spit out the bones”.
This is true, not only with books but in all areas of life (with people,etc..)
“Everyman (or book) is your superior in some way”
“The true test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in your mind”
When Prospecting (for clients, truth, ideas,etc..) you often have to sift through a lot of dirt to find those nuggets that make it all worthwhile
Great post!! I agree with the above comment posted by David. You just have to sift through the dirt and grasp all the useful information, same way we do with all those egoistic people in our lives!!
That as really great post about not judging the authors by their book.But do we really need to look beyond the good contents and explore what the author’s personality is like.I have never felt that need and urge to do.
Interesting post!
The author has probably fulfilled his ego during the production of the book which is why it often sounds like vanity!
Rather than getting too absorbed in how the author feels it is important to step back and remember why we are reading the book in the first place. Something obviously attracted us to it so if the info sucks, ditch the book.
http://www.trainerpack.com/blog
It is important for leaders to filter the idiosyncrasies of people with whom they surround themselves from the ideas that those individuals bring to the table, authors being no different. If you exile the odd, weird, socially inept, egotistical, or downright rude out-of-hand you may very well miss out on learning something of great importance. One of our greatest leaders left that lesson for us in the treatment of his staff of generals and later with his ministers. Nathanial Greene, arguably one of his most skillful generals, was a very odd duck. Greene once shocked Abigail Adams by insisting that she shake the hand of his dog at his headquarters that he had called ‘Hobgoblin Hall’. Washington could have dismissed him as a nut but he didn’t and he found a way to work with him and his oddities of personality. Later, Washington had to deal with a number of blowhards in his administration including Hamilton, Adams, and Jefferson. Three egomaniacs of the ultra-variety yet he found ways to make the best of their services. This brand of judgment skill is what Noel Tichy describes in the book Judgment as a critical domain in the process of making great calls. I like to think that these lessons are applicable to the authors I read. They might be egomaniacs or boorish but if I can extract a few brilliant ideas from them I’ll dismiss their personal flaws.
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