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What Is 'Boundary Setting'?

• It's important to set boundaries to let other people know what is or isn't acceptable behavior.
• In order for a boundary to exist, you have to be able to define it and you have to be willing to enforce it.
• If you work for yourself, it’s important to set artificial boundaries on your work.

Josh Kaufman Explains 'Boundary Setting'

Boundary Setting is the practice of defining and informing others of what is and is not acceptable behavior in a given Context, then taking action when other parties overstep in those areas.

In order for a boundary to exist, you have to be able to define it and you have to be willing to enforce it. Expected working hours are a common point of tension: companies often require their employees to be at work at a certain time and stay at work until a certain time. If an employee shows up late or leaves early, that’s a problem.

Boundary Setting goes both ways: many employers expect a minimum number of work hours but encourage their employees to work additional hours unpaid. If you’re willing to work from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on weekdays, but your place of employment expects you to work from 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. six or seven days a week, there’s a fundamental Conflict. It’s up to you to enforce the boundary, or it doesn’t exist.

If you work for yourself, it’s important to set artificial boundaries on your work time, or you’ll find yourself on the wrong side of Parkinson’s Law, making severe Trade-offs in your personal life for the sake of improving the business. Likewise, if you send an immediate reply to the email your boss sends you at 2:00 a.m., you’re sending a clear signal that you haven’t set boundaries with respect to your time and Attention outside of the office and that you’re available to work at all hours.

Ethics standards, codes of conduct, and other formal behavior policies are examples of Boundary Setting at the organizational or cultural level. If you predefine what is and is not acceptable behavior or activity, it’s much easier to enforce boundaries when necessary. This makes it easier to handle difficult situations, whether you’re dealing with sensitive interpersonal topics like harassment or shutting down a hacker who’s accessing your website a thousand times a second.

Boundary Setting is also useful in defining acceptable behavior that doesn’t require oversight. One of the best policies I remember from my corporate days was called the “adult business deal.” In essence, you never had to ask for permission or time off to take care of mundane life concerns—going to doctor or dentist appointments, voting, picking up a sick child from school, et cetera. The company assumed by default that you were a responsible adult: you wouldn’t have been hired otherwise. As long as you completed your work and didn’t abuse the policy, there was no need for strict oversight in these areas. There was no need to guess if something was “okay” or not: the policy was a formal, tangible indicator of Trust and had the pleasant side effect of eliminating a huge amount of unnecessary managerial work.

Boundary Setting is important. If you don’t define what you’re willing to accept and what you’re not, you’re setting yourself up for unnecessary Conflict and a messy resolution. Be clear about what you expect, and when unacceptable situations occur, be ready to stand up for your values and priorities.

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"Sometimes it feels like the hardest part of self-employment isn't having the discipline to work, it's having the discipline to not work."

Garrett Dimon, founder of Sifter.com and Adaptable.org

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https://personalmba.com/boundary-setting/

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